As we are nearly towards the end of the first month of 2020, I’d like to have an opportunity to reflect on the past 2019. Now everyone probably like, the past shouldn’t be mentioned and be left there… But honestly, last year was one heck of a rollercoaster, I realise I probably say that each year. It built up to the momentum that at the end of December 2019 I was just in Tears. Reflecting on 2019 there were so many decisions that I’d redo, but I guess now I’ve learnt that everything happens for a reason.

I remember starting the beginning of 2019 very happy and content. It was where everything should be, and hoping for that abundance. Believe it or not it was my first time to hit the gym in 9 years last year, although it didn’t last long lol… Anyway, Little did I realise that the real challenges were the beginning of the Chinese New Year. I guess my soul works with the Chinese astrology LOL. Well, I can laugh at it now, but I guess that moment when everything crumbles and shatters, that internal moment when something heavy plummeted a hole in your heart. Yeah, shitty feeling!

My gosh, I felt like I picked myself up from the dumps, and literally if anyone had seen my house… which now I can call a Home. It took me 3 months to convert it from a “House” to a “Home“. Even just looking around, I can’t believe. I scraped, plastered, painted and built furniture myself. I mean it is a still on-going project, but I’m happy and grateful. It hits me in the guts that I wished I did it earlier.

My first unplanned solo trip to Taiwan (kinda) happened last year. It was quite liberating, and honestly, I guess it’s something I needed for myself. This place gave me such nostalgic feelings, It felt like a test of how of an independent being I can be! I did enjoy the experience, wandering the streets of Taiwan… The coffee’s, the spa and able to reconnect with myself again.

Speaking of coffees, I got to visit Vietnam last year! Seriously, it was a trip that was needed. It was such a nice get-away, and it was my first time to visit Vietnam to Danang and Hue. Definitely was a highlight of the year, what more could I ask for, as it’s a beautiful country, with fresh cuisine and the damn beautiful landscapes of mountains and beaches. The most important thing it didn’t kill the wallet, as things are still in the progress of renovating for my home this year “2020”.

Anyway, towards the middle of the year I somehow, well I kind of know-how… i dived into the spiritual realm, now I’m not here to preach or anything! but damn, yeah I guess I feel more “woke”. I received my first tarot-deck which is the Universal Rider-Waite deck, my gosh I did fall in love with it. Now that sounds strange to many people thinking “WTF”, but hey it’s a connection that not everyone will resonate with and that’s okay with me.

I decided to disconnect myself from social media, which honestly I thought I’d find it very difficult, but as days, weeks, months go by it became quite normal. I would recommend it to anyone that finds themselves endless scrolling on social platforms. Disconnecting from social media ironically shows who will social with you the best. I’m happy those that did reach out to me to have a check-in. I realised through quitting social media that I was living in the moment, that I was no longer concerned about documenting it but instead to live that moment and memorise it. With scrolling, less I dived my head into novels and books, and with that came nostalgia as honestly, as before the time of the internet I was such a bookworm. I also found myself just picking up paintbrush and watercolours, painting vibrant colours merging them together and somehow thought that we are all connected some shape or form…

Last year I got to spend my first Christmas in England for 7 years ago. Basically, since I left for Hong Kong… My gosh was it f!cking cold…I really couldn’t remember the British weather, and I didn’t really anticipate it being 6 degrees would be that cold, coming from 28-degree country. My asthma decided to come back due to the cold, gosh! That was a painful start to the Christmas Holidays, really wish I was in the Christmas spirit, but honestly, one thing after another happens…but on a happy note at least I did have a get-away at York! My gosh, I love that place, Just such a beautiful city with good vibes. Also, super dog-friendly which really did make me miss Mochi & Kupbi…but I’d doubt they survive the cold.

To end my trips things were looking up, I got to reconnect with my childhood friend. When I say we go way back, she knew me since birth! We re-bonded over tarot and oracle cards, who knew! Also had a farewell meal with my family, it was such a heartfelt and warming moment.

To wrap up 2019, I really understood the term “Things happen for a reason”. As without this, It would have been the last time I’d see my UK childhood house. Also, When things hit an all-time low, it can’t go any lower and it can only do is bounce back, I feel like I have and still more learning to do about myself. Most important is that I’ve learnt as an individual, you have a voice, and it’s up to how we use it. Through written text, expression, spoke, video, sign language… I realised last year that I’m not responsible for a person’s word of choice or expression, but I am responsible for how I respond to it. As after all when someone speaks ill or badly of you, you’d discover that it’s a reflection of the person as well. Life is a funny thing, We all connect in one form another it’s how we communicate.

2019 wasn’t an easy year for a lot of people around the world, and I truly hope and wish everyone in this year 2020, to stay true to yourself and have an incoming abundance of happiness and joy.

CMPang x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.